Hey it's not as garbage anymore!
Would ya look at that?! A little digging into Sharespace’s page design options and the project format looks half decent. Why hadn’t I done that sooner? I’m suddenly feeling confident that I won’t have to delete and recreate all my project uploads, and it makes me excited to keep posting things from the archives. Looking forward to my next chance to comb through all my old phone backups to see what else I can organize into projects. Fun!
In life news - it goes. Work is a bit of a cluster right now, and I’m not sure if they’re gonna be able to pull out of the tailspin. I keep saying that they need to let me play hatchetman for 6 months. We’ll see how that plays out.
I haven’t heard from Dad since April, and I’m starting to accept that maybe that’s better for now. I can’t have people in my life that are gonna belittle me, walk all over me, and take things from me that were once important, and he’s been guilty of all three. I know he doesn’t mean it, but criminal negligence is still criminal, and this last episode really felt like a last straw. Ultimately, the guy doesn’t know how to be anything other than the hero of every story. He compulsively needs to be the one that solves the problems, who has the best idea and gets the last word, and the one to slay the monsters and rescue the damsels. To damsels around him, I’m sure all of his efforts appear selfless. To me, decidedly not a damsel, all he does is steal the hero role in every one of my stories that I allow him to be a part of.
It sucks, and I was really trying to reach out to be a little closer, but it is what it is. I need space for my own stories, and I’ve come to grips with the fact that he will never accept a supporting role. I may vent about this more later, but that’s good for now.
Borderlands 3 is out and Casey and I will be playing it way too much. I’ve got an upgrade for my gym pulley stations and I’m excited to get home, bolt it to the wall, and use it. Fall weather, leaving the windows open at night and waking up to a cold room with Vally snuggled against my side, is bliss. I think most of my big projects are complete, and I’m excited to be turning a corner and focusing more on myself again. Maybe I’ll do some before-during-after shots of the next year in the decked out gym and post THAT as a project.
Stream-of-consciousness typing to nobody in particular feels good. I should do this more often.
Self love and a positive mental attitude.
-M
