Socializing Weasels

Oh hey. It’s been a minute.

It was early October when I did my last non-bike tour related update. About 3ish months? Little more?

How the hell am I gonna remember anything from 3+ months ago?

There were a few instances where I was actively wishing I was done with the bike trip journals so I could rant a bit, but I didn’t want to break the flow of that trip. It was a great trip. I already want to do it again, with a bit of training and more knowhow ahead of time. Looking back, the mileage per day was pretty abysmal, but when I stop to remember that I blew my legs out on days one and two by pedaling 60 miles in the wrong gears and STILL made it 200+ miles, well… that’s still embarrassing but not due to physical fitness. I don’t know that I’m gonna jump back on this year, but I have a sneaking suspicion I’ll be back out there trying again in 2024. Maybe 2025.

Kind of fun coming up short of the whole thing this last time. Sets the stage for the return tour. Bike Tour 2024 - The Rebikening.

I was a mess for a few days after getting home, but a happy mess. Felt alive and fulfilled, if wildly dehydrated. Honestly, if I had fixed my drinking water issue on that trip I think I would have likely gotten a lot farther along. Maybe not the whole way, but without the headache and withering quads and dying kidneys…. who knows? Getting home was a lot of liquids for a couple days after. Just sitting around. Recovering.

And kitten watching.

The big ticket item. The kittens. They were, thankfully, all still accounted for and thriving when I got back. They hadn’t quite bottomed out the gravity feeder worth of food I had put out for them, but it was getting close. Mama came right up to see me as well, looking for food. Still keeping a bit of distance, but we hadn’t lost any progress from all our work before I left either. Feeling emboldened after my days spent out in the woods, I was suddenly more inclined to brave the mosquitos from Redneck Neighbor’s pool. I spent a lot of time sitting outdoors, hoping the kittens would come out to investigate me, but every time settling for Mama getting a little closer.

The kittens were almost entirely hidden out of sight when I was out. If they were already out romping when I walked out of the house, I would only see a pack of tiny little kitty butts scampering back towards the shed and out of sight. I could see them through the windows from time to time, but mostly on security cameras. According to the cameras, they were out just after dusk and just before dawn, and they were MOVING. Chasing and tackling each other and starting to climb things. Not always just toddling after Mama but exploring.

Personalities quickly became obvious. Tiny Grey was clearly the leader. A smoke grey coat with white on his chest and nose, he was the biggest and boldest of the bunch, leading the charge wherever the group went and the first to stick his nose in things or climb the furniture. Tiny Black, the one that came out to greet me on that first day I discovered them, was Tiny Grey’s partner in crime. The second biggest, they would play together constantly, Grey in front, Black following close behind. Little mini adventures to the raspberry bushes and back. The other two were Tiny Tabby 1 and Tiny Tabby 2. Tiny Tabby 1 seemed to be in her own little world most of the time. She was far more interested in chasing her tail, or that leaf, or this bug, or Mama’s tail, or OH IT MOVED GET IT. Lastly, Tiny Tabby 2 was a complete mama’s boy. He followed her everywhere, pawing at her for attention, snuggling up at every opportunity, and looking for her whenever she’d leave for a moment of GODDAMN PEACE AND QUIET AROUND HERE JESUS CHRIST KITTIES…

…

After I sent the picture of Tiny Black to family, niece Nut claimed Tiny Black. “Luna” she had named her, without stopping to consider if Luna is a her. Either way, Hollywood was all for taking Luna in and giving her a home. I started researching how in the hell I’m supposed to accomadate that. A whole world of rescues and low cost spay/neuter clinics and feral ear tipping organizations leapt up at me. Turns out there’s a pretty well respected feral group here in town, where they take them in and fix them and give em some vaccines and then take a tip of their ear to mark them as fixed before releasing em back to whence they came. I called a handful of these places and played the idiot, asking a million questions. The ear tipping lady wasn’t super friendly, but very helpful. They were booked up for months, but cancellations happen all the time so I should call when needed. Roger. Then I started to wonder how the hell I was gonna get mama there.

Live traps purchased. I started planning on bringing the kittens inside too. How to socialize feral kittens way googled. Can’t just grab Luna, gonna have to trap the whole lot of em. Where the hell will I put them? Guest room. It’s the only place I can close the door and have them be out of the way. I didn’t want to bring them in too early, but I also didn’t want to miss the chance to socialize them as kittens. Roughly 8 weeks old became my target date then. I had two live traps, so I could catch Mama in one and then use her as bait to catch the kittens in the other. Just put em nose to nose and have the kittens come find her. Not sure how many I could get per scoop, but hopefully I can get em all in one, maybe two nights? Let the kittens out in the guest room, keep Mama in the downstairs bathroom until her appointment, then release Mama back into her domain and work on peopling the kittens inside.

Ok. Got it. I think.

At one point, the skunk was cruising through again terrorizing cat food bowls and digging up my yard for grubs, and the groundhog was poking around for yard for whatever the hell they poke for. Since they were using my yard as a highway from the park behind me to the yards in front, I dug up the grass beneath my fence gate and put marble chips down. Dig through THAT, you assholes.

Groundhog did. In like, two days.

So I dug up the new marble chips and installed some of my spare commercial patio pavers under there. Close enough that no skunk is getting through. They dug other holes under the fence. I spent $400 on rows of metal stakes you drive into the ground at the base of your fence to keep things from digging under. A week after install I peeked out from my upstairs bedroom slider and saw the groundhog poking around again. NOW how the hell did he get in here? I opened the door and yelled. He reacted by taking 5-6 quick steps towards the shed, where the kittens were hiding. Panic. I shut up and froze. Don’t you do it. Don’t you do it you sonnovabitch. I don’t know what groundhogs do when they encounter tiny kittens in tight spaces but I don’t want to find out.

Thinking fast. I can’t yell or run out there without scaring him right into the kittens, but I need him to go before he finds his way under there on his own. Idea! I hurried through the house, gathered up the pieces I needed, and went back to the slider. Quiiiiiietly as I could, I slid the screen open, took aim, and…. a car honked in the street. The groundhog froze for a second before scrambling for the hole in the very back corner he had dug between the two directions of wire stakes.

I put down my weapon. Looked at it. Laughed at myself. I was totally gonna attempt it.

AT ALL COSTS.

I kept working on Mama. Wanted to see if she could possibly be peopled as well. With all the time spent with Mama I was starting to like her. She was feral, for sure, but starting to trust me more. Trying to figure me out instead of being instantly afraid of me. I even got her to the point where she’d come inside the slider for her food if I’d leave the door open for her. I started coming to terms with the fact that I was gonna have an outside cat I’d be taking care of. Who knows? Maybe she’d even come inside from time to time. This calm, fuzzy little being could be some fun company to have wandering around once in awihle. Have to keep her out of the basement and away from the leather Ferrari recliners, but other than that I couldn’t imagine she was gonna be much trouble. Ok. So, kittens in and peopled. Luna to Hollywood and Nut. The other three to a rescue to find homes once they’re ready. Mama to hang in my yard. Got it. I think.

The kittens still wouldn’t come out when I was visible, but they were romping more and more. Adorably, I might add. Also, starting to eat the dry food I was leaving out instead of only nursing. Uh oh. Getting close to the 8 week mark. Go time.

As much as I had tried not to (so as not to get attached), after more watching their personalities develop I wound up giving the other three names of pop culture tigers. Tiny Grey became Khan, short for Shere Khan (of the Jungle Book) for being the king of the group. Tiny Tabby 1, playing with Luna above, became Shiva (a la the Walking Dead) on account of her wanting to pounce on anything and everything. And Tiny Tabby 2, playing with Khan, became Rajah (from Aladdin) for the way he just wanted to follow Mama around everywhere.

BUT IM NOT GETTING ATTACHED, OKAY?!?!

Preparations started. I cleared out all the furniture in the guest room. Partially so the kittens wouldn’t have a place to hide from me, partially so they wouldn’t destroy it. I bought a bag of cheap little toys for them to bat around and a little cave bed for them to snuggle in. I bought a litter box. And I bought a big oversized moving blanket to put over the floor to protect the floor from messes and protect the Tinies from slippery floor. Eventually I had a little place to keep them.

Now I just had to get em.

After just two calls I managed to snag Mama an appointment with the feral group. To be dropped off at feral lady’s home on Wed Nov 9th at the crack of dawn. I started getting sad. The four kittens and Mama in the yard together for the last couple nights. All the time I had spent trying to build trust with Mama and now here I am planning to trap her for some involuntary medical procedure and take away her kittens. What kind of a friend have I turned out to be?

Figuring I’d be trapping starting Monday to give myself a day extra cushion to nab everybody, I spent several hours out on the patio the Friday evening before. Mama was there, still trying to figure me out while accepting food and treats as close as she dared. She lounged on the fire pit while I lounged on the sofa.

Eventually she wandered over towards the shed to find and snuggle Rajah, who had been calling her. The first time any of the kittens have been knowingly out in front of me. Of course it’d be Rajah in order to stay with Mama.

Come Monday, I got done with work and then had to spring into action. Feeling like a cartoon villain, I left Mama’s food in an open trap covered with a towel as she watched me from 30 feet away. I then walked inside. Within 2 minutes I heard the trap snap shut and the shaking of Mama trying to get free. I felt awful. Took no time at all. She had trusted me.

I went back out and set up the second trap. Some wet food in the far side where Mama was in her trap and a towel over it. It looked like a tunnel that the kittens could enter to get to Mama and their food. Should work. Now I just need to set the tra… wait.

That trap had sprung shut pretty hard behind Mama. I heard it. What if Khan traipses in to the food while Luna is close behind? What’s to keep it from snapping shut on the second kitten? Crap. Sudden executive decision. I’m gonna have to do this manually.

I brought the whole shebang over towards the slider. Tied some string around a gatorade zero bottle and propped the spring loaded door up on that. I ran the line inside and laid down by the door with just enough curtain open to spy on the entrance to the cage and watched the security camera open on my phone so I’d know if they were approaching. I grabbed some earbuds so I could quietly listen to monday night football while I waited.

A full blown Elmer Fudd situation here.

Mama was quiet, apart from some rattling around at the door of her trap. No sign of the kittens. I laid there, near motionless, in the dark and the silence, for over THREE HOURS before the kittens started to emerge. They poked out from under the shed slowly. They looked around for Mama. They darted back under. Then again, out and back in. Eventually, Mama let out an SOS meow that got their attention. They slowly made their way to the patio, investigating cautiously, before one more Mama meow and Khan picked up on it. He ran towards her trap and peeked under the towel.

Show time.

As expected, Khan was the first to enter the trap. But, as worried about, two others were at the door when he did. I didn’t pull it. Then Khan started PLAYING WITH MY STRING WHILE TWO OTHERS WERE EXPLORING OH PLEASE KHAN DONT TUG ON THAT RIGHT NOW. Eventually the group wandered back out to try and get to Mama another way and it was little loaner Shiva that wandered in on her own.

I used my softest voice when opening the cage and letting Shiva out. But poor tiny Shiva was stuck. Frozen in place. Didn’t know what to do. I tried tilting the whole cage up, sliding my makeshift cardboard base out, none of it worked. She just stared at me like that. After 10 minutes or so I had to reach in and scoop her up so I could deposit her in the bed and move on to the next kitten. She didn’t budge. Even as I scooped her up. Poor little Shiva. I promised to bring back some siblings and got back to Fudding.

Within ten minutes I had Khan trapped as well. Only when I opened the cage he FLEW out in a little tazmanian devil frenzy, ran three laps around the room, and finally did a flying leap onto the bed, directly on top of his sister inside. He laid back there, crying, while I packed up the cage and went back for more. After an hour there was no more movement so I brought Mama in and left the other trap out. A few hours sleep. Then, by 5am when I went out to check it, I had a Luna as well.

Three out of the four upstairs, Mama downstairs. Where the hell is Rajah?

I got back from work and set up the traps again. Poor mama was gonna have to exist in the cold for a few more hours. I needed my bait. As I was taking some trash out I ran into a neighborhood dog walker I would always see when I was out with Vally. Idle small talk, she asked how I was, and I stupidly vented “AHH KITTENS AHH” at her. She listened attentively before saying, with a completely straight face, “so… I’m actually a professional cat behavioral therapist”.

… EXCUSE ME?!?!

We talked for awhile. She gave me her number to text if I got stuck or ran into questions. And she offered the live trap she had in her shed. Yes please. I went and snagged it and set it up as a second way to get Rajah. I set this one out by the shed so he wouldn’t have to venture far to find it.

Tried spending some time with the kittens but they were terrified and didn’t come out from the back of the bed. They were so crammed in the back that Khan and Shiva were atop Luna, who was wedged between the cushion and the back wall with her face pressed against the wall. No movement.

I know it’s silly. And I knew it was silly. But worried papa mode kicked in for Luna. She can breathe back there, right? I pulled the cushion out and set it next to the bed. This would prove a horrible misstep later when they collapsed the top of the bed in on itself and used it as a structureless envelope to hide from me for hours and hours.

I cleaned Mama’s trap and got her some fresh water. She had settled into a sort of quiet ball at the back of it. She didn’t seem panicked anymore, more curious. One more check for Rajah before bed. No dice. I went to try and get some sleep before early-ass morning appointment for Mama, and instead spent the whole night listening to Mama’s SOS cries coming from downstairs and the kittens’ high pitched mewing in response. Oh god. My heart.

I did not sleep much..

Going to feed the kittens in the morning, I made a pretty rad discovery - all three of the kittens had taken to the litter box immediately. Not a single accident among them. I…. I didn’t know cats would do that. Didn’t I have some core memory of taking a cat’s paw and digging the litter with it to show them? Did I make that up, or were these cats little pooping savants?

Dutifully, at 6am, I carried Mama in her trap out to the car and loaded her up. I think I talked at her the whole drive, partially as if that would comfort her and partially to try and distract myself from the guilt. We drove out of town, up into the hills north of town, around some winding farm roads, and pulled up to a small rambler with “FERAL CAT XING” signs for a hundred yards in either direction along the road. There was an older man, a younger girl, and me all standing there with cats in traps. There were about a dozen cats already in traps on the floor of the garage. No feral lady. The guy suggested we should just leave them and go. I suggested maybe we should wait. Eventually an antisocial lady and a hillbilly looking man came around from the back of the house. No big greeting, no welcome, no information offered, just went to the girl and started writing things on a form.

Cool.

I felt silly trying to be cheery and helpful, but it felt like we were doing a good thing so I did anyway. Drove out of there and tried to get some work done. Mostly checked for Rajah. No Rajah. The video showed he was out and about the night before, scrounging for food in the cold, but skipped right past the food in BOTH traps. Clever little Rajah. Except he’s outside all alone in the frigid cold while I’m trying to bring him in to his siblings RAJAH GET IN HERE.

I started to really worry. Mama was gonna be back this afternoon, and I was supposed to let her go in the morning. Once she’s out, she’ll reunite with Rajah and good luck trying to catch him then without her attacking the shit out of me. I had basically this evening to catch him or I was going to have to live with one of the four kittens being forcibly removed from his siblings and made to live with feral Mama in the yard forever. Guilt forever. So I opted to go big. Put these overgrown raspberries to use. Viet Cong mode - activate.

Everything with Mama was good and pickup was uneventful. Back to her spot in the downstairs bathroom, minus a uterus and the tip of one ear. She seemed the same still. Calmer than expected. Maybe it’s the drugs.

I tried to come to terms with Rajah staying feral. He’d be with Mama and he loves Mama. I tried my best. The other three would be okay. Maybe he’ll be happy out there. It was an attempt to calm my nerves, but I don’t think it really helped much. I was still curled up on the floor of the guest room for most of the night, kittens hidden in their envelope bed, staring at security camera feed on my phone and hoping for movement.

Eventually, I really did give up. My heart was heavy. Poor Rajah. I went and jumped into some VR Putt Putt with Pavestone chick, as surefire an escape as I know these days. And for a brief period of a couple hours, I did manage to forget the cold, hungry, scared, lonely little kitten under my shed. At about 10, I went to feed Mama and wandered out dejectedly to check the traps one more time.

Holy shit. I got him. A mewing, shaking, crying little Rajah.

I wish I would have taken pictures but I was so excited to get him warm and with his siblings I didn’t think of it. Instead, here’s the kitten cam footage of an hour later when Shiva came out of hiding to find her terrified brother.

And here’s Khan and Luna happy to see him.

Too damn cute. I slept right through Mama and the kittens calling to each other that night. Secure in the knowledge that everyone was accounted for and would be okay.

I let mama go the next morning. She had made a mess of the floor in the bathroom this time, but I’m sure that’s just the drugs they had given her for her surgery. Otherwise she was fine. After some 60 hours in her trap, I took it out to the patio and opened the door. She stared at me. I stepped back. She stared at me. I guess she was just used to the idea of being trapped now? I had to take some food and hold it out for her, into her trap, before she understood. She bolted the first 20 feet, turned back to look at me, possibly wondering if I had made a mistake, before climbing the fence and heading towards the neighbor’s yard behind mine.

Hoping she’d come back again in a few days, I left some food and water out for her. Cleaned up the bathroom. Threw out the bath rug - was time for a new one anyway. And then I drove to work.

That weekend, Nut came up for her birthday to hang out with me and the kittens. Met up with Hollywood in Olney to grab her and we spent the evening playing VR games and watching a movie in the theater and eating whatever she wanted. She requested pizza, so we door dash’d some Pretzel and Pizza Creations. Walked down to the 711 for munchies and sweets and drinks. And had a blast. It was really cool to actually get some time to relate as people now that the nieces are old enough to be people. Even if it meant listening to a preteen attempt swearing in the manner of a baby deer attempting it’s first steps. Being able to relate on a level greater than “HEY CHAMP WOW YOUVE GROWN HOW OLD ARE YOU WHAT GRADE ARE YOU IN HOWS SCHOOL GREAT SEE YA NEXT XMAS” was nice.

And, as Nut was the originator of the kittens-as-inside-things-movement, she would occasionally run up to the room and sit still for exactly 45 seconds, waiting for them to come out, before running back out again. Good try, kiddo.

When Hollywood showed the next day to retrieve her, they had brought a carrier. Luna was old enough for her forever home, but they’re hardly socialized. They’re not gonna come out on their own. Is this okay? But, they’re here, she’s of age, sure. Go ahead and snag Luna. I gave them some winter gloves, far too big for their hands, for some protection against the spinning knives they were about to go for. Nut reached into the little hidey box that Luna was in. Fumbled for a second. Then a yank, a kitten screech, a zipper, and Luna was in the carrier.

Quote the sister, “Well… that could have gone better”.

The next few weeks were a lot of the normal routine, with my evenings spent laying on the litter-strewn floor and hoping the kittens would come out to investigate me. I got a cat tree so they would have something to climb. I started putting food out and then hanging out nearby, trying to draw them out. Little Shiva was the first to risk it. She would keep her distance still, but would take first pick of the food and then hang around, observing me. A good start.

For the others, it was a much slower process. Khan would poke his head our occasionally like he wanted to come get the food, then dart right back in again. Rajah was not to be seen. I only really knew Rajah was still there by spotting him on the camera after I left. But then, IS that Rajah? Or is it Shiva? Hard to tell via camera, and they look similar.

After several weeks, and hours of sitting there, we started to find a routine. Walk in, sit down, dump wet food into a bowl, wait. After a minute or two, Shiva would come out and help herself. Then she’d wander off to her perch on the cat tree. I’d sit there for 20-45 minutes before Khan would poke his head out. See me. Dart back in. Ten minutes later, Khan would poke his head out, take a deep kitten breath, and slowly approach the food bowl. Within a minute or two, Rajah would poke his head out, look at all of us, and spend the next 5 minutes taking a few steps towards the food, then looking at me and running away, then a few steps towards the food, then looking at me and running away, on and on and on. Until, eventually, saunter up to the bowl, put at least one of the other kittens between himself and me, and start to eat.

Ok. They’re really cute.

Thanksgiving. I went down to visit family in VA and stopped by Hollywood’s to say hi to everyone and see how Luna was doing. Luna, as it turns out, was doing pretty great. Still nervous and would scamper into hiding when set down, but was okay with being scooped up and carrier around and snuggled and passed between nieces. What!?! I’m just starting to get Shiva to accept petting, but this kitten that was scooped up and handled against my neighbor cat guru’s advice is the social one? What the hell man?

But like, also really cute.

A few days after thanksgiving we got word that one of niece Berry’s friends would very much like a kitten and their family was ok with it. Ok, like, maybe not great timing, but sure. I got a few pictures of the three of them together for the last time and then herded Khan into the carrier. A few cries early, but then it was a pretty uneventful drive down to meet Hollywood halfway-ish.

Oh yeah. I bought them a window seat. Did I mention I bought them a window seat? Because I bought them a window seat.

Okay. Two down, two to go. Shiva was totally adoptable at this point - curious and accepting pets and even letting me pick her up for brief periods without a struggle, but Rajah was still a mess. Hardly coming out. Still not comfortable being seen. Laser pointer…

… oh yeah. I bought them a laser pointer. Did I mention I bought them a laser pointer? Because I bought them a laser pointer.

… Laser pointer games would have Shiva charging all over the room, quick and agile and relentless. Rajah, if able to be coaxed out at all, would take a few steps after the dot before seeing me and scampering back to the nearest hiding place. Even when he would make a play for it, he was nowhere near as dexterous as Shiva. He had one move - walk up to it slowly, pause, then extend all four paws as hard as he could, sending him up into the air in a furry lumbering arc before landing again, all paws at once, sometimes even closer to his target than he had started.

I started calling him Cricket.

I was taking an old comforter and a pillow into the room to lay on, tired of the soreness coming from the hard floors. Getting my crossword chops back in order, working through the book at a decent clip. When one day, unexpected, Shiva approached my pillow, sat down next to my noggin, and gave my head a few timid licks.

!!!

I froze, not wanting to scare her off. She sat down next to my head, a foot or so away, and just kind of observed. Not sure, but not afraid either. I grabbed my phone and snapped a picture that would quickly become my favorite of the whole kitten adventure. Shiva is kinda beautiful.

I felt my first little waiver away from finding homes for them all. I swallowed that feeling. NO. Not interested. They’re cute, but I don’t need the added responsibility. I don’t need the messes and things being knocked off shelves. I don’t need my couches getting all shredded up. No. She’ll be a beautiful addition to someone’s family and they’ll be thrilled to have her.

The next day I put food down and took my place on the blanket. Crossword in hand. Shiva was out pretty quickly. Raj still hiding. I was lost in my crossword when I caught movement out of the corner of my eye. Shiva had finished eating and come over to sit on the blanket with me, down by my knee.

!!!

All the hours spent laying on the floor over the past few weeks, and here one of these tiny creatures was coming over to spend time with me for the first time. I tried not to scare her away. Felt my muscles doing that thing where I’m trying so hard to be still that I’m tensing up which is making it almost impossible to keep my muscles still. Deep breath. She started taking a bath. That’s freaking adorable. Phone out for a video. And then it happened. She stopped her bath. Looked up at me. Gave me a happy little squint. Leaned against my leg. Reached a paw towards me. Started purring.

I… I… I… God damnit Shiva you adorable manipulative little demon.

Okay. You know what? Okay. You can stay. Rajah bud, your sister is a conniving little monster, but you’ll occupy her and she’ll help you with your issues. You might as well crash too.

I had made it weeks and weeks, through naming them and watching them wobble around as 3 week old babies and going from nursing io solid food and trapping and tiny house-kittenhood into slightly less tiny house-kittenhood. Got through the first pets and the holding. I even got through the first kisses and the kneading for treats. But something about the calm, happy cuddles got me. I got to a point where I knew I’d be a little crushed to see Shiva loaded into a carrier and taken out of here. She had been my lifeline to the others, helping show them that I wasn’t so bad, and we had spent so many hours figuring each other out and learning how to be around each other and…

And Rajah was taking so long to warm up, it seemed like it would be his only chance at ever being happy as a housecat. Shiva had been ready for a forever home weeks ago, but Rajah would have been lost for good had his last sibling been taken away. He just wasn’t equipped to deal with that. Not yet at least. Plus, hopefully, they’ll occupy each other enough to be less destructive and less dependent on attention from me.

So… okay. You both can stay. God damnit.

Foster fail.

Fuck.

This was impulsive. I hadn’t been planning on this, even that morning I was still holding firm to the idea that I didn’t want cats. Even told those who were telling me to just adopt them that I would not. So the whole situation changed on a dime. I let everyone I had been trying to push into adoption know that the last two kittens were claimed. I ordered more food, more toys, another bigger cat tree, etc. I started looking up vet clinics instead of shelters to find homes.

First up, I needed to get Shiva some dewormer and her vaccines (AT ALL COSTS), so a week or so later I loaded her up into the carrier and drove her out to the low-cost clinic about 30 minutes away. I felt a little guilty - I have the means to take her to a nicer vet why would I clinic her? - but after seeing the prices between the two I figured this place would be fine for a couple shots and a worming med. Once we get to spaying, then I’ll splurge. It was a weird place, no appointments no phone number just show up at a little trailer behind a strip mall in bumfucksville. I was the 4th car in line, but it only took us about 20 minutes be seen. Shiva was in and out in 15 minutes with all her shots and meds for about $85.

By the time I left there were another 8 cars behind me. The woman immediately behind me was clearly an experienced pro at this. A heavyset woman in her late 60s, bedraggled, frizzy hair, wide rimmed glasses, driving an old dingy volvo, in a stained beige novelty sweatshirt, she had a cat sitting under her rear windshield as she was taking out a carrier and dumping what I can only assume was cat piss out onto the gravel lot. She seemed the posterchild for cat hoarder. I spent my time waiting for Shiva coming up with fun facts about cat lady.

“Her favorite color is drab.”

“Her favorite genre of music is quiet.”

“Her hobbies include Self Loathing and Oh No I Dont Like That No Not For Me.”

Since making the decision to keep them , things have been… actually kind of awesome. Largely as expected, only slightly better? I had to spend several more weeks keeping them in the guest room because we had attempted house integration once and Rajah spent two days hidden under my office shelves. But I dragged one of my lovesacs into the guest room so I could be comfortable (if they’re staying there’s no sense protecting the furniture from them anymore) and I started spending even more time in there. Napping, watching youtube or football, now that I can be comfortable most of my lounge time was in there. Shiva grew even more cuddly, and Raj started coming out of hiding more and more. I noted that Shiva was the quintessential lead singer diva heartthrob and Rajah the bassist.

(Dont let the perspective fool you. At this point, Rajah is much bigger than his little sister)

After lots of hours, Shiva and I had our first full blown cuddly nap together and she put her paws in my hand the same way Vally used to when she would sleep and I fucking wept.

Slowly but surely, Rajah kept coming out of his shell. Personality became more obvious. Yes, he’s timid as they come, but he’s still the sweet guy I used to watch cuddle up with Mama. He’s curled up with or bathing his little sister every chance he gets. He wants to play, when he’s comfortable enough to do so. He’s still scared of everything, but often the urge to be with his sister is stronger and he’ll brave the unknown to follow her place to place. Eventually, as Shiva spent more and more time cuddled up with me, that meant Rajah had to as well.

Also, he’s a handsome little devil when you can get him out of hiding.

SPEAKING OF MAMA…

She was still coming back and eating even the same day I released her. I was pleased. Figured I could still have my outdoor friend. And then I got an email.

“Hi Michael- I believe you share Nanna Cat with a neighbor. Tina [redacted] is set to spay some June kittens this coming week, and she said she came today and is shaved and ear tipped.”

…. HOLY SHIT DID I JUST KIDNAP AND SPAY A NEIGHBOR’S CAT?!?!

I called, nervous as can be but knowing the best way was to face this earnestly and honestly. And, mercifully, no. I did not spay someone’s cat. Kinda.

The neighbor on an adjacent street just a few houses down had apparently been feeding and watching Mama and her PREVIOUS LITTER OF KITTENS for 6-7 months. Remember big cat, small cat, grey cat? Turns out Mama had been big cat, and there were three small cats. They spilled out into my yard and, when I started feeding them, Mama set up shop to have her next litter.

Mama. That two-timing, duplicitous little slut.

More than anything I was stumped as to why this lady had been watching these cats all this time but hadn’t done anything about it. Was just about to trap them to bring them in? Mama had time to get pregnant again, have another litter, and nurse them to 8 weeks before you were going to do something?!?!

In the end, neighbor lady wound up being a very nice lady that just really loves cats and was timid about doing anything to make them unhappy. She already had 3-4 cats inside and just build a small mud room on the back of her house with a heater and a cat door SPECIFICALLY so Mama and her litter would have a warm place to be for the winter. She would bring them all inside if she could. Put it this way, she’s given her rescue cats names like “Pumpkin”, “Bootsie”, “Mr Bojangles”, etc. Yeah. Imagine Angela from the office, but with a less comically frigid personality. That’s her.

She wound up being a nice cat friend neighbor to have. She borrowed my traps and got Mama’s first brood in for fixing. Better late than never. She even prepared a nice little christmas gift for me and the kittens here. Nice lady. Just maybe not the most decisive. There are worse faults to have, by far.

Mama has been showing up on occasion, but less and less. I have something to do with that, as I’ve been putting out less and less food. Not because I don’t want Mama to be taken care of, but because once I found out she’s got a home and another litter to be with it just kinda… why am I gonna keep putting all this food out every day and fending off the skunks and the groundhogs? She doesn’t need it. And, at this point, I’ve got my hands full with two of her last bunch. I don’t need to be feeding her either.

The kittens are out now. For the last couple weeks. Raj is slowly starting to venture further into the house, Sheeves has been making it all her own. I had expected it to take several days before either would be comfortable wandering much, but the second day I was watching some football and lounging in bed and found myself with a little game watching partner.

I could get used to this.

While Raj is still pretty skittish around the house, he’s gotten more and more comfortable joining Shiva and I for nightly cuddles. I’ve been waking up each morning with Shiva on my shoulder/chest and Raj on my right forearm. I’ve even trained them to sing me a little song together to help me wake up in the mornings.

… okay maybe not but how lucky was that snap? Simultaneous yawn right as I went to hit the shutter. If it was outdoors I’d win one of those wildlife photography comedy awards for sure.

I keep the basement door shut. That’s my last hold out. My me time, and my preserving some cat-free zone. Mostly I just don’t want them tearing up the leather ferrari recliners. But otherwise they have their run of the place. And run the place they have started to do.

We’re even getting to the point now where Raj will come up and cuddle during the day if I’m not moving around. And last week, for the first time ever, the handsome bugger cuddled me. Not Shiva with me around, but me. Licked my nose, nuzzled against my chest, and started purring. After all the hours spent working with him, that… that is a rewarding feeling.

Ultimately, this was not at all what I had in mind for this year. I was going to do a lot of things, but socialize a pack of weasels was not even on the bingo card as an option. But, as they get more and more comfortable and their personalities come through even stronger than they did originally, I think it was a worthwhile venture. I didn’t really go into it with a plan like I usually do. No moment of “this is definitely what’s best for me right now” like I usually wait for before taking on big lasting commitments. Just a tiny kitten in my room snuggling against my leg for the first time and the feeling that I didn’t want to send her away. And look at what that’s brought me so far. Yes, sure, a couple cat trees mixed into my decor, a plant that’s already been knocked over, some rugs that are for sure going to start showing wear from all the scratching soon, but also some little fuzzbutts to wander around the house with me. Waking up to purring against my chest. Some little creatures to take care of again. And, if I’m honest, to perk me up sometimes. Case and point, from the end of my workday today directly into typing all this up, Shiva has spent 5:45 of the last 6 hours like this -

Ugh. You manipulative little weasel demon. Icy black unfeeling heart, melted.

This has turned into another saga, so I’ll save the other events of the last few months for another post. But this has been a big one. Don’t know entirely what I’ve gotten myself into with these two. Didn’t really have much of a plan heading into it. But I had talked back in the fall about how excited I was to see some critters out in the back yard. How unexpectedly powerful it was to feel like I had something other than myself to care for again. Of how sometimes the universe provides what you need if you’re open to accepting it. I guess I wasn’t at first. But I am now. And I’m thankful for the opportunity to see these tiny little monsters from wobbly babies hiding under my shed to the pretty little lookers terrorizing my upholstery today.

Thanks, Universe. Welcome, Shiva and Rajah.

-M